18 Jul 2018

Wanting to be Known and Accepted

Submitted by Stephen Winters

For a long time I have been wanting people to know who I was, what I thought about, and what I believed, and to fully accept me within that context. I've wanted people in my life to really listen to me, want to deeply know me, and to fully accept me for who I am. I have wanted to be validated by other people. I've wanted that from one of my relatives for a long time. In fact, that would be great if I received that from most of my close family. However, that hasn't happened. I remember part of what my counselor told me, that of not traumatizing other people by what I would say or do. As I think about this, where I am and what I think and believe and God and this life would be very difficult for others who know me to accept. It could be quite traumatizing for some of them. I think about those in my family or origin and associated relatives. Many of them have grown up within the context of a particular religious ideology and think that the world revolves around that mindset. They have a hard time thinking that anything of value could be outside their way of thinking. I should understand that, because I spent most of my early years in that same manner of thinking and believing.

 It seems as though it was not until I was able to voice it, to put it in words that I began to get free from it. What I mean is the desire for other people to know who I am what I believe and what I think about that and to accept me for that. Is only sense being able to speak that. My mind has been switching to ask other people how they are doing, to be focused on them.
I seem to be transitioning to another state, that I thinking it's less about me and more about other people. Perhaps this is partly because I am become more secure in who I am and in what I think and believe. The thoughts that have been coming to me has been about focusing on other people and asking "Who are you?" Stepping out of my own desires and needs and learning to connect with other people for who they are. It has taken me many years to get here, and I am yet not fully here in this place, but am gradually coming more and more to this place.

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