This article is written from the perspective of a guy's, who is also a father. As a guy... I know how guys think. I know how women's ..... apparel affects us. As a father who loves my daughter, I'm also concerned with the way my daughter dresses.
Clarify Your Standards
Before you go buying clothes you need to clearly define the moral boundaries of your standards of your clothing. You need to know what your standards are AND you need to know why you chose those standards. Write out your standards, and your reasons for each standard, clearly as I have done below. Answer these questions for yourself: Examine your answers closely, be honest with yourself. Do NOT answer any of these question with answers like "because it's cute" OR because "I like it". Will we base our standards on God's moral principles OR on our own preferences?
- What height should your minimum hem line be? Why did you choose that height?
- What sleeve lenght, or lack of sleeves, is to be your minimum sleeve length? Why did you choose that length?
- Where should the neckline of your dress or blouse be? Why did your choose that location?
Your standards and your reasons don't have to agree with mine. But they do have to make sense to you. Memorize them and keep them in mind before you go buying new clothes. Also, go through all the clothes in your closets and dressers and hold these up to your standards. Get rid of any clothes that don't measure up.
It is totally inappropriate for a an to have sexual thoughts about a woman that he is not married to. Conversely, it is just as inappropriate for a girl or a woman, whether intentionally or unintentionally to stir up sexual thoughts in guys that she is not married to. While guys have the responsibility to control their thoughts, this article deals with how women have a responsibility to ... not do anything that makes it more difficult on to control their thoughts... and stirs up sexual thoughts in men.
Guys are very visual creatures. Seeing bare skin in many places on a woman often triggers sexual thoughts in his mind. An honorable guy doesn't want to have sexual thoughts of anyone but his wife. It is thoughtless and unkind to dress in such a way to provoke sexual thoughts in guys.
If girls or women are dressing to show off their figure or to look "cute" or to look "pretty" then their focus is wrong.
I recently heard one woman say that it wouldn't bother her to walk around naked in front of guys. This is not the issue. The important thing is that we put clothes on for the benefit of and to protect other people. We don't want to be doing anything that would cause other people to stumble or to struggle with impure thoughts.
Proposed Standards of Modest Apparel
These are not just rules to follow that have no reason. Each of these standards has a reason. We want to be honoring to our guys and to our Lord God.
Are you dressing to please God, or to attract guys? What are your true motives?
First, ask you dad to approve all of your clothes. He is a guy and he was young once. He knows how guys think and how they are affected by the clothes that girls wear.
Skirt lengths: The skirts should be at least several inches below the knee, the longer the better. When you sit down in a chair the skirt should cover the front of your knees at least four or five inches. There are often guys sitting across the room facing you, they don't want to be looking up inside your skirt. It makes them uncomfortable, can cause them to struggle with impure sexual thoughts, and think less of you. Any guys who like looking up your skirt are not the type of guys that you want to attract.
When a woman's skirt hem is above her knees and she sits down, then her knees show. As she continues to sit the skirt often shifts upward to reveal more nad more of her.... If she pulls the hem of the skirt downward, then that action brings the attention to that area of her legs/skirt.
Neckline: The front of your blouse should be tight around your neck, not hanging loose. The collar bone is a good defining point. (Cover your collar bone) When you are bending over in front of a guy, you don't want him to be able to see down inside your blouse.
Shoulders & Sleeves: The shoulders should be completely covered, tops should always have sleeves that fit snuggly around the arms, and the sleeves should come down the arm at least four or five inches.
Midriff Overlap: If you are not wearing a one piece dress, the tops and bottoms should overlap at least several inches. To test, stand in front of a long mirror. Lift up both arms and stretch the hands as high as possible. Check to see that your stomach doesn't show. Now stretch one arm at a time over the top of your head while leaning in that direction. Check to see if your stomach shows
Guiding Principle: Cause no one to stumble. Causes No Offense.