For years I have been searching, thinking, and writing of the many aspects of faith, life, and our place here on this earth. Having researched, visited, and tried many different churches along the way, we have been looking at different theological aspects of life and have come to understand and realize the value of people from all beliefs and all walks of life.
For most of my life I have been extremely averse to the whole idea of accountability. To me, it had the feel of someone standing over my should and watching everything that I do, waiting for me to do anything wrong, then to jump on me. I have avoided any groups that talked being accountable. It had the feeling of someone else trying to control me.
For a long time I have been wanting people to know who I was, what I thought about, and what I believed, and to fully accept me within that context. I've wanted people in my life to really listen to me, want to deeply know me, and to fully accept me for who I am. I have wanted to be validated by other people. I've wanted that from one of my relatives for a long time. In fact, that would be great if I received that from most of my close family. However, that hasn't happened. I remember part of what my counselor told me, that of not traumatizing other people by what I would say or do.
I am 63 years old and I am done with traditional church (Actually, I've been "done" for a number of years, but haven't thought of it in those terms before. (see References below)).I'm tired, long tired, of being preached "at" and taught "at", I want to be interacted "with". Enough of having preachers speaking at me, and enough of having Bible teachers teaching at me. Just enough!!!