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Articles on the family

Loving Your Wife

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What I'm about to tell you only applies if your wife is a normal healthy, mature, and emotionally sound woman. If you married a selfish "cute" girl, then all bets are off.

First, I will tell you about women and then I will tell you your roll.

Women are very sensitive, emotional, and wonderful creatures. Each woman is different and will act differently in each situation.

The key to having a good relationship with your wife is for YOU to always act well, to treat her kindly and respectfully no matter how she acts or what she says in any given moment. For example, she may do things that you don't expect, or she may not do something that you want her to do. It is not about you trying to control her, but you controling yourself. If you learn to put aside all anger, selfishness, attempts to control her in all situations with her, you will do well.


this is not about how your wife will think or act. Rather, it is about how you, as a husband, must think and act.

When I first got married I was immature and did not behave well. I thought mainly about myself and what I wanted.


Some immature or selfish men try to control their wives by anger or intimidation. This may seemingly work for a while, or even for a few years. Typically a wife may withdraw within herself and become overly submissive, or she may explode and get angry in return. Trying dominate a woman will not bear good fruit. You may appear to get compliance for a time, but eventually your domination will either destroy your wife or your relationship with her.


This is one of the biggest lessons that you need to learn. Whenever you and your wife have a fight, argument, you should apologize. Whether you think it was your fault or not, apologize anyway. In any argument it takes two to fight. If you have .. I once heard a husband say that he wasn't at fault. When a husband says that , he is prideful and blind to his own faults. this attitude is very destructive to a relationship. 

As I've heard before, "Do you want to be right or to be happy?"


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As we grow up in life, we develop a lot of theories of how we think that life works. However, once we get married that begins to change. If we are aware, we begin to see that we don't know as much as we thought. Then, when children come along and begin to grow up, our whole world changes. We realize that we are not the center of the universe, but a small part. We realize that we know very little about how life truly works.

A Father's Role

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A Father Provides Security

I just received another lesson on the role of a father. A father should be very similar to a good Internet Security System for computers.

Since I am setting up a new computer, I'm also re-evaluating our Internet Security Software for the computer. Besides all the security features, a good security software should protect your computer fully, but not bog it down.

This morning I did some research at these websites:

A good Internet Security Software should be:

  • Easy to use
  • Not overpowering
  • not in the way
  • Provide real-time protection and blocking
  • Detect Adware, spyware, Keyloggers, Trojans, Viruses
  • Monitoring all Internet traffic

The security software should also do its job almost invisibly, except when necessary.

After I took a break from reading the reviews and the comparisons I realized that being a father is much like the security software. A father is to supply security and protection to the family without getting in everyone's face and making them all prisoners. A father should protect the family almost invisibly while bringing warmth and compassion.

A good father should  be:

  • Knowledgeable of the dangers that are lurking in the world.
    • Observant and aware of what the children are doing.
    • Only step when needed or to protect from danger
    • a protector.....

    Accepting Correction from One's Child

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    This morning I had taken a walk with our dog, a Sheltie named Teddy. While it wasn't raining, the streets and sidewalks were still wet from the rain of last night. Consequently, when we got home Tedd's legs and underside were quite wet. When I brought Teddy inside, I picked him up, carried him over the carpet, and put him on the kitchen floor. I told him to stay (I didn't want him going ont the carpet and getting it dirty) while I stepped over a few feet to the closet and took off my cap. When I turned back Teddy wasn't where I had left him. I raised my voice and called him sternly to come. He quickly came back to me with his head down and his tail between his legs. I then picked him up and put him in the sink as I began to wash his legs and tummy area.

    Sarah, my 19 year old daughter, called to me, correcting me about having been to stern with Teddy. My first inner response was annoyance that my daughter had talked to me that way. However I didn't respond right away. I decided to just pause and think about it while I took my bath and got dressed. I finally realized that my daughter was right. The confirmation to this was the fact that Teddy had come cowering to me.

    I then went in to where my daughter was on the computer and asked to talk to her. I told her that she was right, thatI was wrong in the way I had spoken to Teddy. I then thanked her for having the boldness to correct me.

    As I was talking with my wife about this, I told her that if I expect my daughter to accept correction, then I have to set an example by allowing her to (rightfully, in a good attitude) correct me. If I expect her to admit when she is wrong, then I have to set the example by admitting when I am wrong.