From time to time some of us may be plagued by unwanted thoughts (fearful, sexual, unhealthy attractions, forbidden love, temptation, etc.) that we can’t seem to get rid of. The more we try to fight those thoughts, the stronger they become. Is there any hope?
Getting Real With Yourself
"Fighting against" a thought actually makes that thought more powerful and keeps your mind focused on the very thought that you say that you are “trying to forget”. And, if we are really honest with ourselves, "fighting against" OR “trying” to stop a thought is really a sneaky way to let yourself continue to think the thought in an inverse form. After all, who can condemn you for "fighting against" an "unwanted" thought? Well, the first thing that we have to do is to become honest with ourselves. We must admit that (with some types of thoughts) at some level we are really drawn to think that thought, we actually want to think those thoughts. We don't want to give up what those thoughts represent to us. (Otherwise the thought would have no attraction to you and you could easily get rid of it.) And the "fighting against" the thought is a seemingly justified way to continue thinking about that thought. Although inwardly we are drawn to thoughts, we also know that those thoughts are not good for us. They may even be destructive to us. Therefore, we realize that we must control our thinking.
Examine your self-talk. What are you telling yourself? Genuinely monitor your thoughts and hidden motives, No plan will work if you are secretly fighting against it, or if you make excuses, or if you keep telling yourself that you can't do it.
Gid Rid of Excuses
Stop making excuses, Stop saying, "I can't control my thoughts. I can't do it. This is too hard!" Stop with the excuses! Just stop it!
When a person says, "I can't stop thinking about xxxx, what that person is really saying is that I won't stop thinking about xxxx.
The truth is that you WON'T stop thinking about xxxx until you are ready. You do have the ability to control over your own thoughts.
Be Proactive - Take Charge
It is so easy to have sloppy .... thinking. Just let whatever thoughts come and just go with it. Why fight it?/
Make A Plan
To succeed at stopping thoughts you need to have a plan of what to do when the thought comes, and then rehearse the plan over and over again. If we won't develop and follow a plan to stop thoughts, then our sincerity must be questioned. Are we really being real with ourselves and others?
Set forth a clear reason why you want to stop that thought and be fully convinced that you do want to stop the thought. Be honest with yourself and others..
Ask yourself, What thoughts do I want to be thinking about this person or subject? Write out a detailed thought script, to see some examples, click here. Then memorize it and rehearse it every day so that it will feel natural and be ready when you need it.
Focus Your Thoughts
Instead, focus your mind on meaningful, pleasant, or exciting thoughts and activities. This is about retraining your thinking, having a plan and faithfully following it. After developing a plan, get input from other people, as long a it doesn't become an excuse not to do anything.
Don't do, or stay away from, things that stir up those thoughts. For example, if you have just lost a love, don't go playing songs about lost love. That just puts those unwanted thoughts in your mind over and over again
Don't listen to music that matches your depressed mood. That will only encourage those unhealthy thoughts to come and stay in your mind. Instead listen to music that lifts you to healthy atitude.
If you can afford it, you may want to get a counselor who can help you through it. If not, if you have an horable older adult, perhaps he/she can help you walk through....
Your thoughts stay in your mind by choice. You choose which thoughts stay in your mind.
Some thoughts come into your mind seemingly uninvited.
Thoughts come in ... groups. When you accept certain types of thoughts, that attracts other thoughts of the same type.
YOu can also choose which thoughts to create or bring into your mind.
Here is an article: Yes, you can stop thinking about it.
Here is Google search about stopping unwanted thoughts.When you learn to monitor your thoughts you begin to know when unwanted thoughts are about to apear and you can quickly bring up a thought script or